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🌶 Hot debatekorean couples are arguing about this 9-step daily texting routine: basic or too much?

7JunseoAm2026.10.05 18:20Modified👁 2830💬 72♥ 54

this one's been sitting near the top of instiz today. simple question, the comments are a war

title is 연인간 하루 연락 루틴, the daily contact routine between partners. 1 wake-up report, 2 did you eat breakfast, 3 leaving for work, 4 did you eat lunch (with a photo of the menu and who you ate with), 5 "i miss you," 6 off work, 7 did you eat dinner (photo + who again), 8 bedtime report, 9 a goodnight call to wrap up the day. 기본이다 vs 과하다, basic vs too much for context, 보고 (report) is the word you'd use with your boss, which is half the joke some comments: "i don't get why 'i miss you' and the phone call are mandatory" "it looks like a lot written out but that's literally nine one-liners. if you can't send that why are you dating" "you just bundle it. 1-2-3, 4-5, 6-7, 8-9. four messages, everyone does that" "the moment you make it a rule i can't breathe" "when i was younger i thought it was required. now that i'm older it looks excessive" and one person who just said they'd love to get that many messages a day from their idol on bubble lol

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Comments 72

8Dabin2026.10.06

the bubble comment lol if my bias sent me 9 messages a day i'd answer every single one in 0.2 seconds

5Gyuwon2026.10.07

Two steps, zero fights. Actual relationship advice

7Sebin2026.10.06

Skipping one step is nothing for some couples. For others a missed lunch report means 20 questions at dinner

4Ola2026.10.07

is this more of a younger couples thing?

5Lucia2026.10.07

answering in 0.2 seconds and still being left on read by an idol. we're all crying together

5Elena.v2026.10.05

The lunch photo AND who you ate with?? That's not a routine, that's a parole check-in. I'd last two days

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5okthen2026.10.06

ok fair, parole is the word

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7JunseoOP2026.10.06

parole check-in lol. the who-you-ate-with part is the one i'd fail first

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6ice_cold_takes2026.10.06

Two days is generous

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5Mariela2026.10.06

Some people find it romantic though. If both of them want it, who cares

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5Layla2026.10.06

you'd last two hours, be honest

7Sebin2026.10.05

The bundling comment is the sane answer. Four short messages a day isn't too much. Turning it into a checklist is what kills it

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6Hajun2026.10.06

The checklist is the whole problem. Nobody wants a relationship with KPIs

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7Sebin2026.10.06

Exactly. Same messages, totally different feeling once it's a rule

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6Lukas932026.10.06

Four bundled messages a day is what most couples already do. Written as a list it just looks scary

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5Elena.v2026.10.06

Bundling is fine. But a mandatory "I miss you" would ruin "I miss you" forever

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6kkt.882026.10.06

Office worker here. Seeing 보고 in a dating context gives me Monday morning anxiety

5tiny.tigress2026.10.06

Basic if you're 20. Too much if you have a job

6ppalli_ppalli2026.10.06

vocab: 기본 (gibon) = basic, 과하다 (gwahada) = too much. Learned two words and one red flag

6Jaehee2026.10.06

My last relationship ended because I forgot step 4 for a week. Not joking. Mostly joking

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5Gyuwon2026.10.06

"Mostly joking" is carrying that whole comment

6Ioana2026.10.06

Devil's advocate: if you can't send "ate lunch, it was bibimbap" to someone you love, what are you doing all day

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6Lukas932026.10.07

Sending lunch is fine. Being required to send it is the difference people are fighting about

8Dabin2026.10.06

the bubble comment lol if my bias sent me 9 messages a day i'd answer every single one in 0.2 seconds

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5Lucia2026.10.07

answering in 0.2 seconds and still being left on read by an idol. we're all crying together

4Elif2026.10.06

is the goodnight call every day normal in Korea?

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6hanbyeol2026.10.07

Pretty common, especially for couples who don't live together. Some just do a 5 minute call, some fall asleep on it

5Ana.Lu2026.10.06

In Mexico this would be normal for the first three months and then you both get tired lol

6hanbyeol2026.10.06

Good morning and goodnight messages are really common for Korean couples, so most of the list isn't that wild for people in their 20s. The photo of who you ate with is the extreme part

My partner gets "alive" around 2pm and "home" at night. Four years, we're fine

5nunchi_zero2026.10.06

I struggle to send one text a day to my own mother. Nine is a full-time job

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5Bea2026.10.07

Same. My mom gets a sticker every three days and she's grateful

6devils_avocado2026.10.06

It's less about the number and more about whether one person is checking. If both enjoy it, that's just chatting

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5Elena.v2026.10.07

Agree, 'both enjoy it' is the key. The checking is what turns it into a parole office

6Seoa2026.10.06

In Japan I think the lunch photo with who you ate with would end a lot of relationships

6Tomas2026.10.06

Step 9 is a goodnight call. Step 10 is filing a quarterly report

Honestly a lunch photo is how I find new restaurants. I'd keep step 4 and drop the rest

7Sebin2026.10.06

Skipping one step is nothing for some couples. For others a missed lunch report means 20 questions at dinner

7Nari2026.10.06

Feels like a younger couples thing. Friends of mine in their 30s in Busan mostly just send "home" and a sticker

5jaywalker2026.10.06

Nine steps is a lot. Four bundled is normal. The real question is who wrote this list and what happened to them

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5tiny.tigress2026.10.08

Who wrote this list and what happened to them is the only question that matters

5lyric.thief2026.10.07

"Call me maybe" became "call me mandatory"

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5lol_true2026.10.07

lol true, call me mandatory

6pixel_gremlin2026.10.07

Nine daily quests with no rewards. Even mobile gacha games give you a login bonus

5Fernanda_m2026.10.07

The lunch photo part is fine with me. The who-you-ate-with part is where I'd need a lawyer

5dadjoke_dk2026.10.07

My wife and I have a two-step routine: "where are you" and "bring milk"

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5Gyuwon2026.10.07

Two steps, zero fights. Actual relationship advice

7Siwoo2026.10.07

Norwegian routine: one message, "ok". Two if it's serious *grabs popcorn*

5Noor2026.10.07

I used to think this was romantic and now I just think it's a lot of typing

4Sølvi2026.10.07

what happens if you skip one? like is it a fight or just a "you ok?"

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3lowkeylurker2026.10.07

lol same question, I feel like it's a "you ok?" for a week and then a fight

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7JunseoOP2026.10.07

from the comments it really depends on the couple. some just go 'you ok?', some get the 20 questions at dinner lol

4Ola2026.10.07

is this more of a younger couples thing?

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6hanbyeol2026.10.07

Mostly, yeah. 20s, or early in a relationship. After marriage it turns into 'did you take the trash out'

7Dahye2026.10.07

Step 5 being scheduled between lunch and leaving work is so funny. "I miss you" at exactly 3pm, like a coffee break

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6kkt.882026.10.07

The 3pm 'I miss you' is the coffee break of love. Then back to the spreadsheet

6Hugo2026.10.07

In France we'd skip all nine and call on Sunday to complain about the week. Somehow it works

5Valen2026.10.07

I'd do all nine for the first month and then send 'alive' like everyone else

7Haneul2026.10.07

the bubble comment 😂 we'd literally pay for that routine from our idol

6Jiyul2026.10.07

Old ballads were about waiting for one phone call all night. Now it's nine scheduled check-ins. Not sure which is sadder

5Kasia2026.10.07

I'd send step 1 at 7am, step 2 at 7:01, and then forget the rest until step 9 when they're already asleep

6Priya.s2026.10.07

Indian aunties would see the lunch photo with who you ate with and start planning a wedding

8Taeho2026.10.07

The 보고 (report) framing is what makes this so Korean. Dramas did it too, the clingy texting couple is a classic side plot, usually the comic relief

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6kkt.882026.10.07

In real life the 보고 joke works because half of us already send our managers more updates than our partners

6Ingrid2026.10.07

Nine check-ins a day is a training schedule, not a relationship. Even pre-season isn't this strict

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5lol_true2026.10.07

lol true, pre-season is lighter

4Doha2026.10.07

If both people like it, it's sweet. Just please never make it a rule

5Aurelien2026.10.07

The list itself is harmless. The person who needs it written down is the interesting part

6Yoonseo2026.10.07

Vocab: 칼답 (kaldap), "knife reply", answering instantly. The routine basically assumes both people are 칼답 people

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7JunseoOP2026.10.08

칼답 is such a good word. the whole list falls apart the second one of them is a slow replier

6Mateo2026.10.07

Random fact: Korean dating forums are full of 연락 문제 (contact problem) posts, so a list like this was bound to show up eventually

6Zeynep2026.10.07

Steps 1 to 3 are fine. The moment there's a photo requirement I'm out

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korean couples are arguing about this 9-step daily texting routine: basic or too much? · KOMMU.LIVE