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🔥"I need to feed my lizard"

7sleepy_orbit2026.10.15 10:51👁 3575💬 28♥ 106

an army officer left base 64 times in 10 months without permission, sometimes to feed his lizard, while sitting on 698 leave requests from his soldiers. court kept his two-month suspension

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Comments 28

7Geonwoo2026.10.15

'I need to feed my lizard' as a defense is wild. I'm not even convinced there's a lizard. Show the lizard.

8Taeho2026.10.15

The leave requests are what stays with me. Soldiers paying their own travel home because someone sat on the forms. The lizard is the funny part, the soldiers are the actual story.

7Nari2026.10.15

64 exits in about ten months is roughly once every five days. the lizard is better fed than soldiers waiting on leave

7Junseo2026.10.15

the 698 delayed leave requests is the worse part. soldiers ended up paying their own train fare because of him

7Dahye2026.10.15

Two months is a long weekend with paperwork. For 64 exits I expected more than that.

7orbit_kid2026.10.15

the lizard is the only one in this story who did nothing wrong

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7Nari2026.10.15

for the lizard maybe it was the best ten months of its life

7Junseo2026.10.15

the 698 delayed leave requests is the worse part. soldiers ended up paying their own train fare because of him

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6dumpling.exe2026.10.15

two months suspension feels light honestly

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8Taeho2026.10.15

The leave requests are what stays with me. Soldiers paying their own travel home because someone sat on the forms. The lizard is the funny part, the soldiers are the actual story.

7velvetcrow2026.10.15

64 exits in 10 months and the lizard is the only one in this story with a consistent schedule

7marigold.mp32026.10.15

he fed the lizard. the lizard did not ask to be in the headline

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6tteok_n_roll2026.10.15

Next headline: lizard promoted to unit mascot.

7Geonwoo2026.10.15

'I need to feed my lizard' as a defense is wild. I'm not even convinced there's a lizard. Show the lizard.

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7Nari2026.10.15

Show the lizard is the correct legal standard. Bring the lizard to the hearing.

6Fizzwick2026.10.15

Feeding a lizard takes ten minutes and he left 64 times. Either a very hungry lizard or a very large one.

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7Matcha_Mango2026.10.15

64 trips and that lizard has the best social life on the base

7Kettlecorn2026.10.15

two months suspended and he keeps the job? I can't get past that. the lizard didn't need that much time

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7Junseo2026.10.15

the kept-his-job part is what got people talking. two months for 64 exits does read light

6tteok_n_roll2026.10.15

at 64 trips the lizard should have a base pass by now

7paperlantern2026.10.15

I've heard 'my dog ate it' a thousand times. 'I need to feed my lizard' is new. 10/10 creativity, 0/10 execution.

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7Soomin2026.10.15

10/10 creativity, 0/10 execution is the grade I'd give every excuse in my uni group chat

7snowpea2026.10.15

somewhere there's a lizard who thinks he's the most important thing in the army

6Bingsu_Bandit2026.10.15

somebody in that unit definitely has a 'lizard' nickname for him now

7quietkimchi2026.10.15

the lizard has an alibi. the officer doesn't

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7Nari2026.10.15

64 exits in about ten months is roughly once every five days. the lizard is better fed than soldiers waiting on leave

7Minjae2026.10.15

698 leave requests from his soldiers sitting there while he feeds his own lizard. that's the real headline

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